Amends
by Dawn-Roberts
Summary: On the eve of 'chosen' Spike tries to make things easier
1. Amends pt 1 Champion's Poker

Copyright- yadda yadda... Joss' not mine....restraining order ;). [this is kinda Amends 1.2, because I realized, thanks to a great review from msu, that my convos were all jumbled. So enjoy :)]  
  
~Amends~  
He could sense it. Something about the battle tomorrow wouldn't turn out right...for him, at least.  
  
Spike pushed the thought from his mind and tried to focus on something else. Champion. The word bounced back and forth inside his skull. Champion. She'd called him that. Then he'd held her and allowed himself to be held by her. Here. Right here on this very cot. Since Buffy needed to prepare, she'd left him much too soon. But Spike still felt her there, as he did always. And joy, dampered by equal parts of fear, overwhelmed him.  
  
But he knew there was something he must do. A few somethings.  
  
He gathered himself and climbed the stairs leading into the Summers' kitchen. Not surprised to find Dawn in there, deserted. All of Slayer and Co. had went thier seperate ways, a group each to Xander's and the place Gile's was renting. But he had counted footfalls out the door from his somber existence in the basement, and knew one Slayerette had stayed behind. He figured it was the one who wasn't really a Slayerette at all. He stood in the doorway, watching her silently as she stared out the window, not sensing his presence at first. Then she turned around sharply and glared.  
  
"Oh, hey." she said, about as warmly as Spike's colder then room temp skin.  
  
"Hey,"he returned warmly, ignoring her tone,"Why aren't you marching into pre-battle weepies with the cavilry?"  
  
"Because."She paused slightly."Because Buffy wanted me to stay here."  
  
Spike snicked "And how often does Bit listen to Big Sis? I didn't here a kicking and screaming match, followed by 'GET OUT.GET OUT. GET OUT!' screamed in a pitch only dogs should hear."  
  
"I wanted to be here. In the house. In case, tomorrow. Ya know.."She trailed of quietly."Not that you care."  
  
Spike frowned."Dawn. I care. About everything and anything that has to do with you. How much your hurting. How much *I've* hurt you. I need you to know that."He said the last part, mimicking the sad tone Dawn's voice held."I'm not used to you not having teenage puppy eyes for me, but I'm not used to you hating me either. Part of me is glad that after tomorrow I wont have to get used to that."  
  
He grinned as Dawn's eyes rolled " I don't. Hate you. It's just... what do you mean 'after tomorrow'?" her grin faded.  
  
"Nothing, pet. Just, vamp intuition. Got a feeling big bad won't be around for the 'We Won The Battle' party afterwards." He smiled sadly.  
  
"No. Spike, don't say that. You'll ge through this like everyone else." Her eyes started tearing up and spilling over.  
  
"Hey now there." Spike said, putting his arms around her shoulders loosly."Sssh. Easy now. I'm sorry Niblet."  
"I know..."She sniffled."And ditto."  
  
"Good." He smoothed back her hair." Now what say I go beat you at poker?"  
  
"Never."  
  
And so Spike began, making his amends.~*~  
  
Tune in for *DRUMROLL* Chapter 2, comming soon!... Can u tell i 3 Spike? PLEASE R&R!!! :D 


	2. Amends pt 2 Soccer References

Copy right..... Joss', .... I can only borrow them... restraining order.. :) ENJOY [say 'ello to Amends 2.2! Thanks again to msu for noticing my slip-ups. :)]  
  
~Amends Part Two -Soccer Refrences~  
  
Four thousand dried tears, a hundred and twenty minutes, five card games, and $17.50 later, Spike sat on the couch watching the lateset Man U game intently, and listening to the sound of water blasting from the bathroom upstairs, when Xander walked in.  
  
"Honey. Your home." Spike quipped. "Where are the ants? Not a'marching?" Xander plopped onto the couch opposite Spike, and groaned, pushing unruly hair off of his forehead and slumping back.  
  
"Buffy wanted me to 'check on the Mini Summers'. Which translates into 'all those with an empty eye socket and no supernatual abilities to boot, please exit stage left.' "he sighed and then shrugged his shoulders in defeat."So what's on the tube?"  
  
Spike pointed to the soccer game in progress."Man U versus Arsenal. Telly's a hell of a lot easier to watch when the pitter-patter of the Girly Army is missing." He stifled a cry of agony as Man U's goal tender took a mouth full of grass, allowing the ball to whiz past his cranium and into the net.  
  
"Whoo-hoo Arsenal!" Xander exclaimed, pumping his fist into the air."They're on fire this season. Giving Man U a run for their money."  
  
Spike snorted indignantly. "Arsenal isn't nearly as un-bloody- bearible as usual, but their not going anywhere special." Spike thought for a moment, "But I guess the two teams have their simalarities"  
  
Xander was silent for a moment, "Yeah, I mean they're both terrified about their next opponant. Neither knows whats gonna happen."  
  
"Man U's got a feeling that the future after the big batt-..er, game isn't gonna be very bright for him. I mean, them. But they're sure Arsenal's going all the way" Spike kept a steely gaze on the TV. Even as Xander spoke up again.  
  
"Well, Arsenal's pretty sure that both, uh, teams, are gonna make it through." He nervously fiddled with a pillow.  
  
"Yeah, well. Man U just wanted to make sure that Arsenal ,before the big, match, that knew Man U didn't, uh, hate him...them." Spike stood up akwardly. "Right then, time for a cig." Spike swaggered out of the room and onto the back porch, while Xander sat on the couch, replaying that incredibly akward conversation back in his head.  
  
Dont ask. lol. In case your slow like me, the soccer team references were Spikes way of trying to get through to Xander what he thought was going to happen, and letting him know where the two of them were. Please R&R!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Amends pt 3 Her

Copy right..... Joss', .... I can only borrow them... restraining order.. :) ENJOY  
  
~Amends 3~  
  
Spike stood on the back porch of Casa Summers with an unlit cigarette in his hand. He didn't really feel like smoking, but it was his only way out of the ackward situation in the living room. Sighing, he tilted his head back and gazed up at the dark, star-less night sky.  
  
"Even they were smart enough to get outta Sunnyhell." he murmered aloud, referring to the stars.  
  
"Guess that makes us the doofuses..or doofi, maybe?" He looked up to see Willow next to him, leaning against the same railing that he did. She was looking ahead thoughtfully, most likely still pondering the plural form of 'doofus'.  
  
" 'ello, Red." He looked over at the witch, who looked back at him and smiled tiredly. He looked back up at the lack of stars, but felt her gaze stay on him, and within a few minutes, he looked over at her again.  
  
"Something you need to say, Willow? 'Cause usually, I assume it's my chiseled face and rippled stomach that keep most birds staring. But well, you're not most birds." He raised a scarred eyebrow questioningly.  
  
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them they looked sadder, more distant. "Spike, is it wrong that I miss her? It feels wrong." Her eyes were red rimmed and filled with tears. Spike stood there for a minute, trying to figure out what she meant ; Kennedy was probably right inside.... then he got it.  
  
"Tara.." he trailed off as she nodded her head, a few rebel tears rolling down her face.  
  
"It hurts. I need her so much, that it makes losing this battle sound like the pefect solution, because I'd see her again. But we'd all be dead and I know she wouldn't want that. So I'm torn between dying for her, or living for her. And I know I should be happy, and I should try to love Kennedy, but I can't. I'm too busy missing her." She stood there looking at Spike, as he lit up the cigarette in his hand.  
  
"I do too, sometimes. When us lot are all bloody happy, or not nearly happy enough. I think can hear her laughing with us. Like a nightingale, so light but so strong. She was special, your girl was." He took a drag off of his cigarette, and then threw it to the ground, stomping it out. Spike looked up at Willow, who layed limply on the railing, tears freely cascading down her cheeks, and she was trying her best not to let a sob escape. Cautiously, he approached her and rested a comforting hand on her shoulder, before fully slipping a strong arm around her back.  
  
Sniffling, she pulled herself into his one armed embrace, settleing her head on his chest and both of her arms around his waist. "Spike?" she asked in a little voice.  
  
"Yeah, Red?"  
  
"Thanks." She couldn't help but smile into his shirt. Of all the friends she'd make, she never figured Spike would be one of them.  
  
"No problem, love." Spike pulled both arms around her shoulders and, resting his chin on her head, looked ahead into the starless night sky.  
  
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A/N- In case you can't tell, this s Spillow (I like that lol,) friendship, and nothing else. Since this fic is gonna stay short, I think I'm gonna wrap it up with the next chapter. Its gonna be heavily Spuffy.  
  
Reviews motivate me to write faster, so keep that in mind ;) 


	4. That One Time On The Enterprise

__________Copy right..... Joss', .... I can only borrow them... restraining order.. :) ENJOY  
  
~Amends 4~ ____________________  
  
"Why are we even playing this game? I mean, it HAS a board, therefore it's a board game. But there are no little pink children shaped things, or poorly counterfeited and brightly colored bills, so it can't be a board game. And there isn't even cash involved... Is there cash involved?"  
  
Anya looked at Andrew hopefully.  
  
"No, Anya. Cribbage is a mature and relaxing game. Chubacca should have considered it, because towards the end, he just seemed very stressed. Or constipated." Andrew looked down at his cards, mumbling as he added up his points.  
  
Sitting back on his cot, Spike threw his cards to the side and took the smoke out from behind his ear, lighting it before enhaling greedily. Andrew watch on with his nosed scrunched up to avoid the smell.  
  
"You should really quit, Spike. Your gonna kill..."Andrew paused."...us."  
  
Spike smiled with a half-hearted smug. He was trying is best to get Anya and Andrew the hell out of HIS basement. "Well, in that case." He blew a ring of smoke towards Andrew's, who ducked, falling off the edge off Spike's cot he was inhabiting. Spike let out a laugh as the boy nursed a bump growing beneath his dark blond hair.  
  
"Children!" Anya barked, getting the attention of both blonds. When she had their attention she couldn't quite remember why she wanted, so she 'hmph'ed loudly, crossing her arms. "I don't get why we're even down here. If I'm going to die with the rest of you, I'd like to spend the rest of my drastically shortened life having multiple make-up orgasms with Xander, multiple times, in many, many different locations." From her postion on the floor, she kicked at the cribbage board, sending it skidding under the cot. Sighing dramatically, she stood up and planted herself between Spike and the newly reseated Andrew.  
  
"We're like the Three Muskateers. Renegaded against our own free will. Shunned by our peers because of our darkend past. It's kinda like that one time on The Enterprise.."  
  
"Andrew," Spike warned. "no more nerd references, Boy Wonder."  
  
"Right." Andrew squirmed nervously, desperate for a way to break the silence. "Hey, Spike, remember that time when we went on that covert op, and we rode your hog and talked about blooming onions and then you threatened to kill me?" He looked around Anya at Spike, anxiously.  
  
"Bloody hell. I'm gonna miss that..." Spike looked over at Andrew, not very fond of the grin he was getting,"...er, the threatining, not the ruddy male bonding bit."  
  
"Don't get too emotional, paley. It's not like YOUR going anywhere anytime soon. I mean, if anyone of us is gonna die, it'll be Andy here. Cause I'm 1000 plus years old, and I can handle my self, and you've got that shiny thinga-ma-bob. But Mr. Friend-Stabber, he's only got his little pan flute." She stood back up, and smoothed out a wrinkle in her skirt.  
  
"Since we're wallowing." she paused and went over to a pile of abandoned crates, pulling out a bottle of scotch, half empty. Spike looked at her, head slightly tilted in wonder. He may do his share of basement drinking, but that was NOT his. "What?" She said to his incredulous look. "Think you're the only one who drinks alone in a smelly basement?"  
  
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A/N... This was basically just a ramble that I'm sticking in here for filling and to fulfill Amelia's Anya need and Ashlee's hankering for good old fashion nerd. Honestly, I'm ending this next chapter. It's gonna be Spuffy!! *the crowd cheers* :) 


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